The Quintessential Connection
Every year while teaching placenta, I tell my students that the unborn child utilizes the maternal resources and is fully dependent. After delivery, the umbilical cord is cut so the newborn can survive independently. I have no hesitation to put it in words that the connection between the mother and her child is quintessential and cannot be undermined. More so, after losing my mother recently. The mother cares unconditionally and nurtures life. She shares our dreams as we grow up, and believes in them.
We have our aspirations and work hard to achieve them at every stage of life. Sometimes in our zeal for success and employment, we have to stay away from home. The connection we learn to take for granted stays firm and astute with time. She may not be well but she is always concerned for her child. Likewise, when she is unwell or distressed we all want the best for our mothers. Our Indian culture and values are deep-rooted and remarkable.
I was in my second profession when my mother had a life-saving ileostomy operation at Army Hospital New Delhi. Those were the days of landline phones with STD tariffs and my dad told me ‘no news is good new-just take care of your younger brother till we are back. She came back but had health issues thereafter which she fought with determination and wholehearted family support. Now, that she is no more my redemption, I realize lies in the constant connection and communication I maintained with her over the years. She shared her health issues with me and I bolstered her in every way I could.
So, all students reading this, I request that during your busy schedule now and when you have lines of patients waiting for you, do always maintain the two-way quintessential connect. As we grow older our responsibilities increase. We need to make new relations and foster them along with our quintessential connection. Do share your anguish and happiness with your mother regularly and listen to her every day. Trust me, this will make you a better person and it will also heal you for the furtherance of your duties as a medical professional. Our quintessential connection, we realize is our best teacher and the wisdom we acquire from this connection is definitely worth sharing with generations.
I share here a poem expressing my feelings for my mother. I am sure the readers can relate the composition to their personal essential connection. The rendition is available at:
Those tears in my eyes
When I was young, you took me by your side
You gave me so much love mamma, bring tears to my eyes.
I saw love when I opened my eyes
I still see love, when I close my eyes.
I see your picture and there is a smile
I know now, there is no pain.
I know now, you don’t want me to cry
But my dear mom, it will never be the same.
You gave me so much love mamma, bring tears to my eyes.
The birds still sing, and the breeze still blows
But my dear mom, it would never be the same.
Sometimes, I just stare into the space
And I wonder why this space?
You gave me so much love mamma; it would never be the same.
You were and are my inspiration
Your memory always keeps me strong.
When I was young, you took me by your side
You gave me so much love mamma, bring tears to my eyes.
Though my heart is heavy, it’s also full of love.
You gave me so much love; It will never be the same.
You gave me so much love mamma, bring tears to my eyes.
When I was young, you took me by your side
You gave me so much love mamma, bring tears to my eyes.
Thank you for your love mamma and those tears in my eyes.
(Dr. Gaurav Agnihotri)